28 days, 4 weeks, 1 month

It is amazing really, more amazing then I can imagine that I am here. Day 28 of recovery, binge and purge free. I did not have the courage to come here on Day 1, or 10 or 20 because I did not believe in myself enough. Sadly, but after so much experience with my own disappointment in my recovery process I did not know I could do it. I did not have the belief, the pure desire and motivation to recover. I have always had the support, the opportunity and knowledge to make this leap forward in recovery....but, never the belief that I could do it. Now I know I can. Now I have. And now I will continue to recover. Each day is simple and a gift. I appreciate my health and my happiness and my recovery. In 6 months I will have my brain back to normal. 6 months. In these months that lead up to that I will have my body well fed and strengthened, I will have hours to spend with family and friends and doing the things I love because I don't have to worry about food all the time.

I am writing because I wanted to so much to read the details of someone else's recovery. To read the details of many other people's recoveries. I wanted to know that recovery was not only a possibility, but it was now a way of life. I want you to know that you can recover too. That we can all recover if we get the support, the knowledge and the desire to recover. Then, we can. I am writing for myself, but also to give hope and courage to those that have not made that step to recovery or our floundering in there own. I am one more person that has worked so hard and is recoverying. Maybe some of my journey will help you.

There is no magic key. There is no right answer for everyone. Every ED is different, every recovery will be different. But, I do know the longer you abstain the easier it becomes.....or they say that. I think it would be better said the longer you abstain the more you believe you can abstain. You have to allow yourself freedom and hope to recover but, also the diligence to do so. Remind yourself each day that recovery is the way to a better life and a better you.

I am proud of 1 month. It is the longest I have gone since I did outpatient treatment 3 years ago. I am not in therapy but, I have had my share. This is process, it is trial and error and it is understanding how and why to recover. It is not fun, it is not pretty, it is extremely hard and challenging. It is scary. But, the life with bulimia is not a life. You can not have or build a life with bulimia, you can get by and survive....but, you are not living. So, hello life, i have missed you.