Day 53

I have almost hit the 2 month mark! It is exhilarating to think that I have come all this way, and that I will keep going. I have experienced so much in such a little amount of time. 53 days of eating. I have eaten cake and pizza and drank beer and though I find myself feeling scared and worried, I remind myself that 2 months have gone by and I am stronger, happier, healthier and more centered than I have been in 8 years.

I have found I have time again. Time, hours really, that were being gobbled up (literally) by my eating disorder. The obsessive thoughts, the buying, the eating, the purging, the exhaustion.....these are no longer hours. These are barely allowed minutes (except for the eating....that i do, and do well). I had no idea there were so many hours in the day. So many hours to be living.

I have finally seemed to hunt down the eating disorder blog community. It was elusive when i google searched it, as I am not very search savvy other then google. But, by reading and looking and reading and looking I have managed to find a list of people who are in the midst of recoveries. Or recovered. These are rays of hope for me. These stories, these battle plans, help me to build my arsenal against ED and to fight for recovery. I am very proud of how far I have come. That I am not restricting or binging or purging.

I will stay strong. I will enjoy those new hours of time that I have discovered and I will recover. One day at a time.